


Bad Wrotemance

by Anonymous



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Bad Puns, Bad Writing, Crack, Fandom Allusions & Cliches & References, Forgive Me, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-21
Updated: 2020-01-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:18:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22350139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: A crackfic about ffxv fanfiction
Relationships: Gladiolus Amicitia & Prompto Argentum & Noctis Lucis Caelum & Ignis Scientia
Comments: 10
Kudos: 13
Collections: Anonymous





	Bad Wrotemance

Before he steps into the apartment of His Royal Highness Noctis Lucis Caelum, Crowned Prince of the Kingdom of Lucis, Ignis pulls a neatly-folded hazmat suit from his bag, and puts it on. 

Inside, it’s far worse than he imagined. He uses his umbrella to clear a path through the piles of take-out containers, laundry, comics, figurines, crumpled up reports, and video game boxes.

Noctis and Prompto are sitting side by side on the couch, playing assassins creed, both holding controllers.

“Hi Iggy,” the Blonde exclaims, blondily. He rakes his fingers through his own blond hair.

The Ravenette doesn’t look up from the screen as he mumbles, “Hey.”

“Have you done your homework?” queries the Advisor.

“Uhhh . . . Well . . .” Prompto sweats and pulls at the collar of his shirt, and loosens his tie.

“Lay off, Specs,” Noctis replies, brattily.

Ignis glares sternly at the two younger boys. Then he pulls his cellular telephone out of his pocket and jabs the screen repeatedly with his index finger.

The Blonde starts to shake with fear and crawls behind the couch to hide from the older boy’s wrath. While he’s back there, he finds some change. “All right!” he cheers. “I get to eat tomorrow!”

The prince continues to play King’s Knight, while Ignis starts to furiously chop vegetables.

“There better not be any carrots in my dinner,” the Ravenette quips.

The chef mutters to himself under his breath.

Suddenly, there is a loud crash and the door splinters as Gladio kicks it in. The Shield stomps over to the couch and looms over Noctis, shouting, “Do your homework!”

The younger sticks out his tongue.

The Brunette growls with unbridled rage and lifts the prince by the collar of his jacket. Noctis hisses at him like a cat. Then the musclehead drops the prince into a pile of his own trash.

“Oh wow. Wind-up Lord Vexxos,” the prince observes, holding up the toy. “I wondered where this went.”

“Radical!” Prompto effuses, popping his blonde head out from behind the couch. “Can I see?”

“No,” the selfish boy clutches the action figure to his chest. “Mine.”

“Dinner is served!” Ignis calls from the kitchen. “Prompto, I made your favorite. Curry up and get it while it’s hot.”

“Oh I dunno,” the poor unfortunate _pleb_ replies, stomach grumbling, “I shouldn’t eat this nice food. I might have something at home. And my parents are supposed to wire me some money next week . . . I think . . .”

“Blondie! Come!” Gladio barks, patting the chair next to him.

With a yelp, Prompto scampers over to the table. “Okay! Thanks Iggy!” His mouth waters.

“It is my pleasure, I love cooking,” the bespectacled man replies with a graceful bow.

“Noct! Dinner!” Gladio shouts.

“Fine, fine, fine.” The lazy brat drags his feet, shuffling to the table. He slouches in his seat and glowers at Ignis as he ladles curry onto his plate. “Are there carrots in this shit?” he asks, ungratefully.

“No carrots, but there are chickpeas—a type of bean.” Ignis smirks.

 _“Beeeeeeeans?”_ Noctis groans.

Everyone laughs.

The end.

**Author's Note:**

> I think most of us (including me) are guilty of doing these things (asshole!Gladio is probably my biggest sin). Writing is very subjective and taste varies, so I hope nobody will take offense. And I hope that I've maybe amused anyone aside from myself.


End file.
